Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kasethen's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
5:49 am	Oh... how the fire purifies! I feel so often like there is no place in this world for me. I am a Meyers Briggs INFP, the rarest type for males. It is the healer/writer/actor/psychologist/shaman archetype. In a different time, or a different place, maybe. I would be a prophet. An advisor to the king. A great sorcerer -- conjurer of the occult. Mouthpiece of the gods. But no, there is no role like that in today's society. We are so removed from nature. I'm doing the best I can. My screenplay is almost finished. It is all I can do. And I must! I will honor the gods. Men have grown so wicked, so forgetful. They have not fear in their hearts. They do not understand, so estranged as they are--they look with blank eyes and minds rotted on poisonous foods and pornographic addictions. They do not see how they are to be purified. How they must bathe in fire, turned to ash and stardust. I will make them understand, OH YES I WILL! In music. My friend is coming for Thanksgiving--and I will see if I can't persuade him to finally put together that band. And in acting! I WILL have the lead. The others have not suffered as I. They do not comprehend with sufficient depth the workings of this world, nor how to walk that fragile boundary between genius and madness. How to alchemize the masculine and feminine and offer it to the Divine. Oh, blessed are my friends who have stayed loyal to me. I will show them their love was not in vain. I always honor my friends in the highest esteem. To the fools, you are blessed, as you have not cognition with which to sin. It is only those whom think themselves wise who ever create of me an enemy. I am content to be left alone, to enjoy our coexistence amicably. But those who persecute me, they shall reap as they sow, and they shall know such persecution and misery as their actions justify. God in his wisdom ensures me of this fate. And to give Thanks. Let us all, for their is so much to be thankful for--even in suffering and in doubt. All must be unified to God and the eternal Self, that we beastly apes may be blessed with the blood of angels and dragons. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Sonata Arctica - 'Deathaura' (Comment on this)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
4:43 am	Because I am me and not a lie I am want to do something unusual but honest. I am sick of being mischaracterized. I am sick of being misunderstood. I want to say from my heart exactly who I am and what I stand for and why I seek it. My name is Erik, and I am a god in training. This is my human incarnation: Erik is a human being and subject to any and all of the errors that come with the human form. He is impatient sometimes. Sometimes but not very often he gets angry at others, but more so at the world. You see, this is not because Erik perceives too little, but because he sees and understands too much. He is a genius in the proper sense of the word, but beyond that, he became broken when the world and his loved ones poured suffering into him since the time he was a child. If this sounds like you too, then maybe Erik will seek you as his friend, because Erik always seeks out those who have suffered from the wickedness of the world, and considers it his calling. Erik has always been a dreamer, and never understood why people did mean things to each other for no reason. And then he figured out it wasn't because of no reason, but because those people who did mean things to him did so because other people did mean things to them, and they were just passing on the sin. Indeed Erik came to realize there is an all pervasive distortion of humanity which some of called 'Maia', and others have called 'Original Sin'. Erik is extremely sensitive. He found it very hard to live amidst a world that was so cruel, and so he became arrogant. Erik realized that he was actually much smarter, much more clever, stronger, and more beautiful than all of those who called him wicked things for no reason. In order to protect himself from so much evil he decided that all people must be inferior to him, and therefore the things they say not worthy of his attention. It was the only lie which helped him to avoid the pain. But it didn't help him to avoid the pain. Instead it created an entity, that like a cancer grew to terrible portions. It choked out life and smothered freedom wherever it found them. And thus Erik became schitzophrenic. On one hand Erik was sensitive, saw the beauty in everyone and everything, and always sought to help everyone whenever they needed it. On the other, Erik became a demon, a fallen creature who hated all things and people insufficiently capable of satiating his whim and pleasure. As an aside, during this time Erik also found Sonata Arctica. Tony, the singer, understood Erik's trials with sufficient complexity. It became the most satisfying music to Erik from that time forward. Indeed, Erik had become much like the other Erik, the Phantom of the Opera, whose beauty was twisted by the hatred he carried towards those who hated him. When Erik had sunk deeply into depression and despair, he met another god, this one called Lynne. Unlike other people, who were frightened of Erik, she had the seemingly unique capacity to understand him. She was also highly intelligent, and sensitive. Even moreso she was an artist, and a dragon-soul at that. She understood music. She knew Jenny, and John, and Morkeleb, and understood their passions. She loved Dante, and Bach, and Vivaldi. Erik had met a bizarre mirror of himself and began to understand how terrible and ugly he had become. And so he tried to make her just as ugly and insane as he was, also. It met with mixed success, and Lynne grew unstable under Erik's pressure. Eventually the demons that had claimed Erik started to claim Lynne as well. In desperation, Lynne took Erik to Maui, to escape a family and society that had borne such wickedness in him. Her plan actually worked. In an event of immense and unbearable suffering, Erik surrendered his ego, his one shield against the cruelty of an ignorant and distorted world, and he became... Nothing. Erik, who had lost all of his friends, the love of his family, and had torn Lynne's trust to pieces screamed its death throes as a new and foreign power claimed him. God pierced the veil with white fire and found Erik's soul, somehow. Erik had much pain for a full four months as his penance while God was reorganizing him. Serpenthor helped during this time by listening to Erik on a couple of occasions and recommending a philosophical axiom by Spinoza called 'don't despair, seek understanding'. Erik tried very hard to remember this during all moments, and tried very hard to forgive everyone whom had ever caused him hurt. Then God saw it fit to deliver Erik into the hands of a spiritual teacher named Ram Dass. Ram Dass taught Erik in a strange way that didn't involve any teaching. Instead Erik learned how to become pure, and how to suffer in grace, and how to love. Erik began to identify with the angel/god again. Ram Dass helped to remove Erik's brain, which had become very contorted. Now Erik can barely even remember what happened yesterday. In fact, Erik began to clean so much out that soon people were actually coming to him wanting advice. Erik at last became what he'd always wanted to be... free! Now the mind became a tool the soul, rather than its master, and the soul, which was buried under so much suffering, became the guiding force of Erik's life. Erik was very happy. As Jesus said, 'he who loses himself will find himself'. Erik did not know what this meant until it was forced on him. Now he understands. Not everything was perfect, but it didn't need to be. Everything was fine, bliss, love. Now Erik is vegetarian, trying to go raw foods, and is recovering. He did a noni physical detox on Maui, and has incorporated regular breathing and meditation. He views all human beings with compassion, love, and lots of laughter. Sometimes he is still impatient sometimes, or says the wrong thing, but he is very earnestly trying to be the best person he can be at every moment. Right now he is struggling with his relationship with Lynne, who became very lost after demon Erik got to her. She is improving, but it is slowly. Still, when she is unfair or mischaracterizes Erik, Erik needs to remember that Erik has been very bad to her at least a couple years, and that things don't change in a heart beat. There were a full four months of physical pain following the Maui event, after all. Better perspective is always required. Now Erik finds it is his calling to help guide other people towards better health and living. He wants to be a healer and Bodhisattva. Now he is writing a short film to help people to understand. He is also working towards becoming a metal singer. That, Erik feels, is a better and much more accurate representation of Erik. He wants people to understand who he really is, and not to fear-monger and not ever give him a chance at redemption. He also accepts that people are disinclined to listen to him, after he has been so terrible. It hurts him, but he accepts it regardless, and loves those who reject him anyways. He also wishes he could talk to people with his voice rather than text. His voice is so much more emotive and communicates so much more than the naked abstraction of words. And just a little something that caught my fancy today: Peace, love, God! <3 That's all there is to it! -Erik Current Mood: rejected Current Music: Sonata Arctica, of Course (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
9:02 pm	I am sorry I am sorry for who I was. I did terrible things. I manipulated others for pleasure. I hated myself and those around me. I was unkind to a great many people. I don't know what to say, other than that. I've changed so much, but my sins still follow me. I guess I have more penance to do. Sorry. -Erik (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
12:10 am	TONY KAKKO IS GOD The man is the most brilliant musician alive. No one even comes close. This post is in honor of a real human being. \m/ Sonata Arctica forever \m/ Also, my director and I totally hit it off. He's in love with the story I'm writing. Film fest here we come - GRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAUGuAGHAGHAUGHGHG!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 25th, 2009
1:34 pm	The Opportunities Keep Happening Some friends of mine that I've only just met by going to their weekly potlucks want me to write a movie for a film festival--which is pretty awesome. They have an info session on Wednesday, so I'll get to see what that's all about. I think I'll be writing a 10-15 minute short is what it sounds like. Also, I'm really enjoying the comic I'm writing with kaijugirl -- it's pretty ridiculous/awesome. Everyone was giggling like crazy at it. I have decided to go off the deep end, and have (mostly) abandoned my society-cultured brain altogether. I'm going nutty and laughing my head off the whole way! Which also means I'm being creative now! Had to remove the blocks first, and now all that's left is unadulterated creative genius born from god knows where. Also, I hope I get my windows xp cd soon from Dell so I can reformat my hard drive and use my computer again. Oh well--I am doing my word processing at the library for now. Also I am really enjoying choir. I am singing Tenor! Lalalalala Ya, so if I'm finding if I open up, don't care what happens, think success, then cool things happen. Yay! Current Mood: chipper Current Music: "Juliet" - Sonata Arctica (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
5:00 pm	Yay Screenplay Work! I just started a screenplay collaboration today for a drama that follows the life of a young black boy who is adopted after his heroin addict mother dies. I was a bit iffy at first, given it's not my usual cup of tea, but then, I suppose it stretches me and my capabilities, which is good. Working with someone else too was quite interesting. I mean, he is a Christian Fundamentalist Jehovah's Witness from Arkansas, whereas I am essentially a Pacific Northwest Intellectual and New Ager. In some ways we couldn't be more different, but, basically I just put myself into his story proposition and ran with it and we got lots of good work done. I am also excited about my solo project, which I'm just writing in book format, though conceivably I could transfer it into a screenplay at some point. That one will contain a heck of a lot of philosophy and spirituality and political criticism. It feels like some kind of profound truth beckons from the other end, and I just need to write it out to find it. Well, I feel useful and validated again! Yay! Happy. I am doing better at my creative work than I have ever done in my life, and hopefully this trend will continue indefinitely into the future. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: "Deathaura" - Sonata Arctica (Comment on this)
Monday, September 14th, 2009
2:48 am	Making Things Right Feeling good. Listening to the god of music, Tony Kakko. Writing a story. Taking up guitar. Singing all the time, making recordings. Maybe can youtube it somehow? Getting rid of karma. Making things right. Hope all are well :) Did I mention that Tony is god? Current Mood: geeky (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
11:20 am	Just Tired of It All I'm sick of being the bad guy. I guess people just assume that tall, strong men don't have feelings and are okay to abuse. I lost a lot of friends whom I thought were decent, understanding people because I physically struck my friend Lynne... the last time, over a year ago. Since that time she has physically struck me on a number of occasions because of her chaotic emotional swings and lack of grace towards others and especially toward herself. But, I guess, she's a girl, and I'm just a big scary man, so it's OKAY! Oh, wait, I wasn't listening with 100% attention and focus... therefore it's my fault! Yea right. This is the kind of idiocy that has occurred in this relationship and with Lynne's friends. On Maui I was honored, sometimes revered as a font of compassion, charity, and wisdom. People loved me for me, and didn't bother with semantics games and other things of non-importance. Here I'm back in overly-stupid mainstream America, with people who live bubble lives in their homes, and won't help you when you need help (let the government do it!). I don't know who or what principle to blame. And for god's sakes, if I seem like I'm on a high-horse all the time it's because I am! I feel high. I feel great. I feel blessed and loved by God. It's NOT A BAD THING. Yea, it's because I'm just becoming more and more immersed in God that I didn't react when you hit me, or swore up and down at me, or made me feel like crap. That's not just you Lynne, but everyone, like my family, who seems bent on tearing me down and seeing me fail. I feel at such peace, now, that when Jesus says 'turn the other cheek' you bet I could do it. When Jesus says 'forgive your enemies' you bet I can do it. I've been practicing these things a lot. It's stupid that people should want to see weakness out of you. That they want to see tears, or admittance of guilt, or anything like that. I am a god in the making. The reason I don't cry much of anything anymore, or react much of anything to passing moods and such is because I am earnestly seeking enlightenment, and God is providing all the tools to get there. I am peaceful in mind. I am compassionate, though I will not pity. I feel zen. I feel happy. Even when people put me down. Even when people try to denigrate the ways I've been blessed calling it a superiority complex, and that really I'm an arrogant asshole--it's phasing me less and less. People attack what they can't understand. Yea I'm doing better than you because I've been doing the work! I HAVE OFFERED YOU COUNTLESS TIMES the things that will BRING YOU UP. I would gladly, in a heartbeat, SHOW YOU THE WAY and bring you up into this high, this bliss. But you have shown me again and again by your actions, your abuse, that you aren't ready for it. You're cruel and deprecating because you're frightened. Change is frightening. 'YOU', that pathetic lump of squirmy, slippery, selfish, disgusting, ego, MUST DIE. YOU MUST DIE. AND IT HURTS... A LOT. I've been there, and I know. But something gets through on to the other side, I guarantee it. And then you know and love yourself and others like never before. Just pure compassion. I mean how the hell did I learn to love all these people who hurt me so much, like Elam, or Ridayah, or Tamara/Tyler. You just have to wipe away all the frail, mortal, nonsensical drama and become that diamond of a soul underneath. And it's in everyone! So, I'm just done with this scene, now... they all have their things that they're going to do and that's that. I'm building a new life, clean slate, and I'm happy again. That's all I can say for now. Current Mood: mellow (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 11th, 2009
10:48 am	A New Leaf My old self is just about done. Maui purification worked perfectly. All forms of repression transmuted to compassion and love for and through the Divine. I need to update my dragon icons to reflect this process. I feel like living sunshine, healthy and beautiful and pure. I want to share that feeling with the world--the feeling of residing in Love, and in harmony with Creation. I don't care who likes me and who doesn't. I don't care about impressing others anymore. No scheming. No more slavery to false gods/desires. No ego-based rivalries. Just compassion, pure and simple. We are all made equal before the reaper. We are all made equal under God. Different, always.. but always equal. My new focus is reforming the consciousness of the world through holistic methods. Our post-Green Revolution food supply is stripped and devitalized of vital nutrients due to the complete exhaustion of our soil through unsustainable agricultural methods. All foods must become organically grown, and all soil revitalized. Nutritional super-foods (blue-green algae, bee pollen, goji berries, royal jelly) must augment our emaciated diet in the present. Kings must be philosophers. Philosophers must be kings. Wisdom must trump outmoded systems based on avarice and greed. Teachers must become healers. Healers must become teachers. Healing must trump the psychological and sociological schisms which unnecessarily divide us within and without. Televisions and Movies and other forms of communication medium must be encouraged to bring edifying messages to the populace rather than the vacuous meanderings of consumerist consciousness. This should be an ethical mandate, same as doctors must swear the Hippocratic Oath. So too must writers, politicians, and all public servants offer a similar allegiance to high principles and the healing of humanity. This is the right focus. I think that's about it, for now. I seem to only talk serious online or in writing. My real life is one endless joke, one fabulous mirth-filled parade of flamboyant eclecticism. I wish I knew how to communicate that online, but it's not so easy for some reason :/ Anyways.. Yes. Life Plan at present: 1. Get job at fruit market. 2. Do Yoga/eat healthy until can do coveted Yoga Headstand :O 3. Network super-foods like Algae to generate work-free income. 4. Sing, Dance, and focus on all forms of performance art 5. Move to Santa Fe and join the Film Industry 6. Apprentice under an Assistant Director until can become Assistant Director 7. Become Screen-Writer/Actor/Director of inspiring, spiritual films 8. Live happy as a modern story-teller :) Of course all things subject to revision, but this sounds really good right now. Hope it works out! :D Current Mood: content (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 18th, 2009
2:46 pm	Long Poetry Post Long and cut for brevity, but something of my thought structure and experience of the last 6 months: ( Poetry Journal ) Of additional note, I am writing my first movie screenplay. I am wickedly sardonic and hopelessly irreverant so of course I am writing... comedy, ... for children. Well, for children of the older variety I should clarify. And that's all I have to say about that. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: "You take my breath away" - Sarah Brightman (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
4:06 am	The Best Band Plays the Best Song Ever!? Sonata Arctica finally did it! They played their masterpiece live, after years and years of touring :D This band IS the heir of Queen. Every song is a stroke of genius with an absolutely unforgettable melody. The vocalist/composer Tony Kakko has made guest appearances with many other Finnish bands including Apocalyptica and Nightwish. I'm wondering why they haven't done Eurovision (Nightwish did as I recall), but it might still happen. Anyways, I guess they're touring now with Nightwish (opening for them), and I wish them the absolute best. I still like Nightwish, but Sonata Arctica is.. just, so unique--there is no sound like it. There are no stories like the ones they tell. They are the most amazing musicians in the world. Finland is where the music's at; seriously :P ( DA BEST SONG EVA! (and something of a tribute) ) Well that's it for that. I have other things I'll save for another post.. I just really am in a SA mood, hehe. Current Mood: calm Current Music: "White Pearl Black Oceans" - SA (Comment on this)
Friday, December 26th, 2008
11:33 pm	Odd Poem I was playing around with ideas and rhyming and I ended up with something that kind of reflects my experiences. It's sort of two poems that trade off with one another and borrow from one another.. really two characters with different voices of myself. ( Bow to One ) Current Mood: crazy Current Music: "I AM A FARMER" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zJuRZPMC30 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 8th, 2008
9:46 pm	Why The Games I Grew Up With Were the Best . ( exquisite euphonic ecstasy! ) . Oh, and I've renounced my tenorhood and my baritonehood. After what Raphael said I'm going completely basso profundo. Basso Profundo is POWER! I've always been attracted to the men and women of POWER, and Basso Profundo is always (well, most of the time) the bad guy -- who has the POWER! I have been so exceptionally gifted in so many ways and I'm now choosing to grow my hair long and claim my mandate as the bad guy >:D Well, not really. But it's the truth that I'm finally aware of, now; why I was the envy of my tenor friends! The basso profundo commands, seduces, speaks with the authority of God, speaks with the authority of Satan... oh it doesn't matter, but when people see me or come to know me there is only two reactions -- fear and agitation or intrigue and inticement. No one can be indifferent to me; it is an impossibility. And beyond that, I am finding that those who are intrigued by me are the people who reside within power, and that those who fear me/seek to undo me are those who are full of fear and violent timidity. With whom shall I reside? That's a very easy one to figure out ;) Lynne's book said that dragons are basses and bass-baritones (I'm not being so elitest as to say dragons are *never* tenors -- maybe they are in human form some times -- but really the archetype just doesn't fit higher-voice types as well in my opinion and experience). I believe it, because I know the power that is 'dragon'. I pray for its essence, I dream its presence.. and I want that otherwordly fire racing through my energy body every waking moment. I am gifted with a very low vocal register which very few people have... so for the first time in my life I'm going to renounce my higher-voice-type aspirations toward fruity happiness and instead own the depth of draconic power... for good, of course! (even though the alternative is terribly exciting, I've found it's not very good for the soul -- could even give me brain cancer ;) ) Live life unfettered! Love God. Love music. The End. Current Mood: energetic Current Music: Heroes of Might and Magic 2 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
9:22 pm	An Incredible Short Movie Just for anyone who hasn't seen this, this is one of greatest pieces of art I've ever beheld. Hope you enjoy it too :) Current Mood: blah Current Music: "Gravenimage" Sonata Arctica (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 4th, 2008
8:12 pm	Random Post of Appreciation So as there is always so much negative stuff on LJ, I want to do something nice. I'm just going to go down my friends list and express a little gratitude; it's always too easy to take friends for granted ;) -I'll stick mostly to people whom I kinda sorta know: baphijmm: Thank you for being so interested in the East and for some of the fun I had at the old chat in draconomicon. I also like to read about your reptile friends and your interests in anime. civet_coffee: Thank you for being such a zany, witty fellow who always gave me a good laugh when I needed it. You always seem so under-appreciated, at least as I remember from draconic and dragon-realms chats. Hope you get yours in life! ichimei: Thank you for your artistry and the responsible wisdom you've shown and offered me. Spinoza really helped at just the right time. Your journey has so much heart, wit, and vitality. Best to you, Munchkin and Mr. Serp. Also, black dragons are the best (but don't tell anyone) ;) kaijugirl: Thank you for years and years of very dear friendship. Thank you for believing in me when everyone else had written me off. Thank you for the beauty of your soul and the love in your heart. Thank you for your music, which is woven through every ounce of your personhood. God bless you on your path of self-realization! karnanyd: Thank you for your kindness when I was struggling in oh so many ways. You were a light in those times. Hope things are going well, eh! nezdragon: Thank you for your fair-mindedness, having-fun-ness, and quirky, nay-brilliant sense of humor. Your wit is appreciated :) nodge: Thank you for your sensitivity (it's a tough burden to bear). You are so kind to those whom need it most. Let that heart shine bright :) r_eventide: Thank you for your clarity of spirit. Rare is a Christian whom I've met who was willing to let compassion actually move through him. I'm sure you're heading in a good direction -- thank you for your insight! steps_of_faith: Thank you so much for being such a wonderful and consistent helper to my journey. You have been the very definition of agape friendship. You have such a beautiful soul; don't give up faith! Spirit will lead you home :) winterblueart: Thank you for being one of the rare men of authenticity and breadth of vision. Your words have been helpful to me more than once, as well as your travels with the difficult and puzzling nature of psychology and libido. Thank you for your philosophical and artistic soul. If I didn't write something about you, or you think there's something I may have missed -- that's because I don't know you well enough! I would like to get to know you better :) To my friends, I am just very grateful for your strength, your wisdom, and your affection. I am reminiscing on my life, and it is clear to me that I must extend gratitude to all, and acknowledge beauty wheresoever it manifests. I am blessed to have friends such as you. I would encourage anyone to try out this exercise, or anything that helps you to manifest openness, gratitude, and love from the heart. It's what the world needs most ;) "How can I keep from singing?" Current Mood: grateful Current Music: "Bheethoven's 9th" (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 24th, 2008
9:12 pm	A Botched Attempt at Being Romantic Sunday I got this great idea. "Hey!" I thought. "I'm poor and all, but I can drive to up-country Maui (the dry part of the island) and pick prickly pear fruits for all my Maui friends!" So I drove up Mt. Hale-Akua until I found an abandoned ranch-field full of prickly pears. Well, I'd never actually picked prickly pears so all I brought with me were some plastic bags and my trusty pair of gardner's gloves. I could describe the whole lengthy process, but mostly it was hopping over barb-wired fences and being showered with tiny little spines (hundreds per fruit) and driving home with dozens upon dozens of them needled in my fingers (the gloves didn't help terribly much). So I go home and think "Hey!" (which I now know is always followed by a well-intentioned but always doomed-to-failure kind of idea). I could scrub these off and bring surprise my friend Lynne (aka kaijugirl ) with a lovely feast of green and purple cactus fruit. So I scrub a couple bags full of them off (no more needles, ouchies!) and jump in the car and drive up country into rural (but slightly more rainy Maui) once more. Now Lynne lives at the bottom of a river chasm in the middle of a forest in the middle of no-where. So I thought, "Hey!--I could take the easy route and drive my car out there to the compound, then proceed down the access trails to where she lives... or I could be my bold Mars-in-Sagittarrius-Self and find a much steeper, more dangerous trail down and surprise her!" So I wander around the top of the chasm with two full plastic bags of fruit noticing there aren't too many places that aren't very steep drop offs. By the time I find the actual access trail it's 5:30 and getting a bit dark. So "Hey!--I'll just schimmy right down, find her tent along the river, and schimmy back up--no sweat!" Well, I get half-way down the trail and one of the plastic bags starts to give... and finally break sending orange and cactus fruits careening down the hillside. Hmm.. well, I go pick up most all but one or two I can't really get to and stuff them in my shorts-pockets and sweatshirt pockets... really anywhere I could stick them :O , and keep on trecking. I get down to the rocky river bottom(which isn't running, but is pockmarked by shallows one to two feet deep), the sun is almost completely set, and the stars are peaking out, and I'm met with a most difficult decision! Left or Right? Well, right of course! Onward Ho! (the actual tent was about 50ft to the left). So I get my feet up wading up the river.. I notice the chasm getting steeper, the woods getting thicker, the air getting colder, and of course, dusk getting very very dark. Uh oh! It's almost a New Moon :( That's when I begin to realize that I'm quite lost.. I'm sad, and I'm calling out Lynne's name with no answer (she's unknown to me out tonight)... UNTIL! "Hey! The compound's right up on top... if I can just climb on up there, I can use the actual access path to find my way to the tent!" Well, between the almost-new-moon, the forest canopy, and my hair falling in my eyes at my exertions.. I can see about three feet in front of me and start my slip-sliding hike up the other side of the chasm, falling on my face again and again as the muddy, leafy ground-cover provides not a very firm foundation. I start thinking that it wasn't such a good idea to have done this and that I should have used the car instead. I'm wet, dirty, tired, blind, and unsure of my salvation -- I even lay down thinking that I'd have to lay for the night, exposed, till dawn. Then I thought, for the first time a good thought.. "Hey! This is kinda like a spiritual journey. You have a vague idea that you need to get to the top (to God), you're here in the bottom of earth's yawning yucky chasm of doom (lower consciousness), you have not really any idea how you'll actually get there (blind-as-a-bat), but you have treasure you want to take to give(fruit.. your Soul), and there are obstacles in the way (by then I was crawling on my hands and knees bumping head-first into trees every minute), and you feel totally helpless (I did!), but you just take one step after another trying everything not to slip, trying everything to just make the next step upwards closer to the end destination. Ha! How Sagittarian of me. The other fruit bag fell apart and I resorted to carrying it all in an improvised bag made of my sweatshirt.. but oh, it didn't matter -- frustration turned to fun in the absurdity of my predicatment and my realizations. This is why the right-brain is wonderful.. because it figures out how to make things spiritual! And so left-brain was like, (grumbling) "this is crappy, I hate this, I'm wet, make me comfortable, you're stupid for not listening to me". Right-brain was like, "wouldn't this be wonderfully metaphorical.. an allegory you could draw upon in the future? Savor this silly!" Ha, and so I did.. Until I got to the last obstacle... for at the very peak, just as it rolled over onto the plateau of the compound, there was the most gnarled, twisted, thickest, ugliest bunch of trees that hedged the entire hillside. So I was at the top, a few feet between my forested version of Dante's Hell, and the beautiful stars of purgatory were shining sparkling clear to me on the other side of said gnarled, twisted, tickest, ugliest row of impassable tree trunks I'd ever laid eyes upon. Well, okay (I thought)... I'll take Serp's advice and, where a rock is blocking my spiritual progress, I'll just go around and find another flow. So I sidle-crawl in the dark and every time I push forward my head hits another tree. By the time twenty-five thirty feet are past I've all but given up. I can't get through to freedom, and there is no end to my woody prison-bars. I make one last push and .. ..the wood is rotted! I breathe a sigh of relief, and start excavating myself a hole, pulling out rotted timber-branches and tossing them backwards into Hell, and digging out dirt enough that I finally have a small opening through. I throw the bag of valuable fruits and flip flops out onto the star-lit grass and wiggle my way through to freedom! I think a startled goat was the only observer other than myself, but I was damned happy! :D Well, I raced through the compound quickly, hoping nobody would see me and thus saving myself embarassment (the only creature who saw me was a cat -- who told the landlord the story of my ill-fated romantic mission as only cats can). I located the access path to Lynne's tent, and, having enough of slipping and faceplants, slid the chasm depth's down on my buttox. I got the tent, found no one was there, knew I couldn't get out for the night and fell asleep beneath the covers. I had some brilliant dreams of two male dragons, one old, cruel, driven and powerful, one young, soft-of-heart, philosophical and poetic vying for supremacy.. or rather, the young being driven into exile and hunted by his cruel elder. Only through wit and cunning was the younger able to elude the unflinching desire of the older to kill. Psychologically, in hind sight, it's kind of the like the Christ-child fleeing to Egypt because King Herod desires to kill him and prevent the usurpation of his kingship. The young, Christ-like dragon escaped and, like the Lion King, matured, and became powerful (in a different, wiser way) from the elder, and when I woke up, he was returning to defeat and drive out the tyranny and violence of the elder's rule. So I woke, Lynne stumbled in as I was leaving, and we had a laugh or many as I told the story to her. Then the two of us talked with her new landlord, who also had a laugh (he's a cool guy.. grounded and knowledgable in many ways). Then I hugged and departed and it was all silliness. So that's my fun story; the rest of the day was mowing lawns, dethorning prickly-pears, planting pineapples, and laughing with Ram Dass. "Hey!" It was a pretty good day after all :) P.S. cats are so lovely, purr, purr, prring. And all was well, The End! :P Current Mood: happy Current Music: "Lemuria" - Therion (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
12:05 am	Monkey Island! Funny video plot synopsis of one of the best games of all time (also the inspiration for tons of things in Pirates of the Carribean 2 :/ ). Lots of fun :D Also, why can't things start working out? No more struggle -- just want to relax into the awesome. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 6th, 2008
9:55 pm	Thank You Southpark! For being the lone voice of reason this election season. I can always count on you to make fun of the things that NEED to be made fun of, such as Obamaphilia. I guess I'm venting a little bit, but I'm pretty much in the bluest part of the bluest state on the United States, Hawaii, and I don't like Obama, lol! I don't dislike him, mind you, either. Just leave me alone Obama people, and stop saying how "the good guy won" and "we're saved!" I'm damned sick of politics and the once-every-four years manipulation of the weak and gullible. If everyone sought their own personal power rather than holding their breath for a messiah, this world would be a much better place. All I can say is thank God the black guy won so people can finally shut up about affirmative action and crap like that, and race-baiters like Jessie Jackson got the wind knocked out of their sails. Libertarianism for individual, and thus, community empowerment. :/ Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: OBAMA (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
3:06 pm	Whiped Friends List I generally cut it down to people who are kind, loving, with positive and supportive attitudes. I may have made a mistake or two of course, so if you want back on let me know (send a message). Current Mood: apathetic
Monday, October 27th, 2008
11:49 pm	Enigma I am addicted to their music -- this song especially. It's the most untethered, right-brained music that I've ever experienced. One of their other songs, the Gravity of Love, I would listen to every night before bed in high school. Music was my only companion for a long time.. the only thing that helped me ward off depression, really. Also check out "Beyond the Invisible". Their music is so gorgeously addictive. Anyone else agree? Current Mood: high Current Music: Enigma - The Gravity of Love (5 Comments |Comment on this)